mountain_sage | 070 [Action]

Current Mood: sad

Entry tags:

return from mallynap

070 [Action]

[Saleh awakens in a clearing deep in the forest, sitting on the ground with his back against a tree. He stands up, disoriented, not sure how he got there or how long he's been there. He's not even sure what day it is. On this note, he decides to head back to the village straight away.]

[Those in the village can see that he's not walking with his usual confident stride. Rather, his stride is more like that of a man who's lost his way. He sits by the fountain in the plaza, staring at the ground in front of him, thinking. Thinking of Lady Myrrh and the duty that Saleh had failed to fulfill. Thinking about how the world would be engulfed with this evil energy, and how it would be his fault.]

[Once he tires of sitting at the fountain, Saleh will get up and go back to his apartment. Then he'll sit on the edge of his bed and continue to dwell on his failures.]

[OOC: Saleh's back from his mallynap, and his mallynap effect is the complete loss of his self-esteem and confidence. So he'll spend the next week or so wallowing in despair.]

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[It wasn't all that unusual for Eley to meet people in the forest, Saleh being one of them. What was unusual was the way he seemed to be carrying himself as he walked in the direction of the village. He seemed... confused, troubled by something and altogether not himself.

Not just that, but Eley had seen the previous feed of Saleh being taken away by... someone, or something. More than one of them. He hadn't gotten a response to that and quite frankly had no idea where he had gone. So naturally the Spirit approaches him with some concern.]

Saleh? Is... everything all right? I saw what happened to you. I wondered if you would ever come back.

Eleytheria...?

[He calls the name, acknowledging the Wing Spirit, although he can't bring himself to look at him.]

What...happened to me? ...What do you mean?

You do not remember? You were... practicing something, I think. Strange creatures broke into your home and took you away.

[He shakes his head.]

It does not matter. I am glad to see you again, though I cannot help but notice you seem rather downhearted today. Did they do something to you?

So that's what happened...? That would explain it...

[He stares at the ground, pondering, trying to remember, but nothing.]

I awoke in a clearing back there, but with no memory of how I got there.

[As the last question sinks in, his heart begins to ache again.]

I don't know...it's just that...I've failed...

[No memory? That... that didn't seem good. At least he seemed to recall his own identity as well as the Spirit's. He tilts his head in confusion at his odd words however.]

Failed? How have you failed?

[The only memory that's been lost is the memory of being kidnapped. All his other memories remain intact.]

Lady Myrrh...I've lost her. I've failed to protect her...

Saleh... you have never spoken of this Lady Myrrh before. What do you mean that you lost her? Did you meet her during your kidnapping perhaps?

[Were they trying to escape together somehow? Eley was sure that would naturally lead to Saleh feeling this way. It made sense, right?]

No...this was in my world. We were on a mission, and then we were attacked. We got separated. I searched the continent high and low, but there has been no trace of her. And now I am here, unable to even continue my search...

[So helpless, a terrible feeling. Even in his current state, Saleh trembles, fighting to keep himself from breaking down entirely.]

[Eley's surprised to see Saleh in such a state, talking in such a despairing way. He hadn't seen him this fragile before and honestly he wasn't really sure what he could offer to help him. They were all trapped here, unable to do anything to influence their worlds at the moment.

There were... some things he had experienced in Luceti though. Things he had learned about comforting humans. For now, Eley comes closer to him and rests a hand on Saleh's shoulder.]

You will still have a chance. I have been told that time is frozen here and that if we are to return then we will simply continue from the point we were taken. Do not lose hope.

[Saleh feels the hand on his shoulder, but it does nothing to ease his pain. He simply shakes his head.]

Even so...it might already be too late. I've searched for so long...what if...what if she's been killed...?

[Then, as if something had stabbed him in the heart, Saleh grips the front of his chest and falls to his knees. He lifts his head, looking ahead, breathing roughly.]

Serving the Great Dragon...has been my life's purpose. To fail in this manner...it is a shame that I cannot bear...

[It's all right, he didn't expect a particular response. But his concern for his friend only deepens as he clutches his chest like that and falls to his knees. He really was working himself up over this...

The Spirit isn't sure whether to keep his distance or come closer and hesitates a moment before making his decision. He wasn't used to trying to console people in this manner. Still, he kneels down beside him, tentatively placing an arm around his shoulder.]

The Great Dragon should reward you for your efforts. Nobody is guaranteed success no matter how much they may want it. I know that I would respect your attempts, even if the outcome was less than favourable.

You must calm yourself, Saleh. Take deep breaths and try to relax. You have no way of knowing what has happened. 'What if' is a dangerous statement to ponder.

[The arm around his shoulder is unfelt at this point.]

There is...too much at stake. The evil energy will spread...without the Great Dragon's intervention, the world will be consumed by darkness... The world will be lost because of me...

[He may not feel it or react to it, but Eley's not moving unless he makes him. He looks at Saleh strangely.]

Why do you place so much blame on yourself? You are not the only person in the world and you cannot think of yourself as the sole reason for its demise. I do not know much about your evil, but I am certain it is not something you would be able to combat alone.

Besides, you still have time. You must not think of what will happen if you fail but focus on what must be done now. At least... once you return. While you are here there is nothing that can be done.

[Eley is right...of course he is right...but still.]

I just...cannot help myself. Perhaps...I have been deceiving myself all this time. I held back my true feelings, trying to think positive...and then it just exploded within my heart...

Deceiving yourself? No... you should not lose faith in yourself like that.

[He tells him, tightening the grip on Saleh's shoulder.]

It is natural to feel overwhelmed if you have really been through that much. A mortal body can only sustain so much stress before it begins to take its toll, yes? That is why illness strikes, perhaps in more ways than one. If you lose faith, I am sure your recovery will be that much harder. Please... you must rest and try not to dwell on such things.

[Saleh seems to calm down a little...at least the trembling stops, but his hand is still held to his chest.]

Perhaps...I do need rest... If I really was taken...there's no telling what they've done to me...

[Eley nods at that.]

I hope whatever has happened will pass soon. I... do not like to see you so distressed. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.

[He stands now, removing his arm and giving Saleh a little space. Letting him decide for himself what he wants from him if anything, or what action he wants to take next. If he was able.]

I hope so...

[He looks out in the direction of the village again. All he wants is to get back home and sleep. If he can even sleep, that is.]

Perhaps...you could walk back to my place with me?

Of course. I can walk with you if nothing else.

[And provide a listening ear at least. That was something else he was already accustomed to.

The Spirit offers him a hand.]

Walk with me and speak if anything else troubles you.

[Saleh takes the hand and stands, then begins to walk slowly.]

I don't...I don't know if I have anything else to speak of. I'm sorry...I should not dump my burden on you like this...

[Eley walks beside him, keeping a close eye on him in case he falters again. He shakes his head at his apology.]

There is no need for apologies. When I became a deity it was part of my duty to take on the burdens of my people. I do not see it as an inconvenience to do the same to those I call friend.

...When you became a deity?

[Curious. Wasn't he always a deity?]

Yes. When I was first created I was not exactly a god... just a Spirit. A being born to keep the planet alive, not to converse with the creatures living on it. I governed the skies and others tended to the sea and the land. It was not until I became curious about mankind and drew closer to them that they began to worship me as a deity. The same can be said for the other Spirits of my world.

Perhaps in a way it was our mistake. If we had stayed apart from humans none of us would have been hurt. We would not have become so... dependent on them.

...It is rarely a mistake. Sometimes...being hurt is inevitable, no matter what you do. Still...it is better to experience both pain and joy than to experience neither.

[Ewan is pleasantly surprised to see his teacher is back. So much that he doesn't notice the change in his demeanor right away]

Teacher! You're back, you're still you! I've missed you so much!

[Saleh's sitting on the edge of his bed, still staring off in a random direction. One wouldn't be able to tell that he even knows Ewan is here, until he speaks softly, sadly.]

I'm...I'm...back?

Yeah! This is our place, isn't it? So you're back!

I'm back...

[He came back...but he doesn't remember what happened before waking up in the forest.]

...What happened?

These awful-looking things took you away, and I couldn't do anything to stop them. You were gone for a long time!

Oh...

[He looks down now. Just like before, he was powerless.]

Ewan...I'm...

[And now is when Ewan realizes something is off about his teacher]

Um...is something wrong?

I'm...powerless. I couldn't do anything at home...and I can't do anything here...

What?! You, powerless? No, you're-you're one of the strongest people I've ever known!

Strong...how? I've failed...I've failed to protect Lady Myrrh. I've let the elder down...I've let everyone down...

Oh...teacher, don't say such things! I-I'm sure Lady Myrrh is just fine, and the elder seemed happy to see us when we passed through the moutains!

[Saleh buries his head in his hands.]

I can't help it...I've been in this place for almost three years. I may never make it home to fulfill my duty...

[Now Ewan is getting kind of sad himself. Sad and scared. He's never seen Saleh this sad...]

But...that's not your fault!

[His voice cracks as he speaks.]

But there's nothing I can do...I'm powerless...

[Ohhh, what should he do? Ewan's not used to comforting depressed people!]

Well...there's nothing any of us can do right now! It's not just you!

[He only presses his head harder into his hands...]

I just...I just can't bear the shame of it...

[Ewan tries to think of something uplifting to say, but in the end all he ends up doing is leaning against his teacher and patting his arm.]

[Saleh looks away, but lets Ewan do as he wishes.]

It's gonna be okay. [but is it? What can he do? Is there anything anyone can do?]

Edited 2013-03-16 19:02 (UTC)

[But Saleh's dreadful thoughts continue. What if Lady Myrrh is dead? How will things be okay then?]

I just...don't know...

[Ewan feels useless. Saleh's comforted and looked after him so much but now he can't seem to do anything for him. He's trying to think of something, of course, but...]

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